Of the many things I have overcome, this may just be the greatest struggle yet.
I feel like I have gone through ultimate highs and ultimate lows, but I have to remind myself that no matter what, I must never give up!
I understand that we each have core beliefs and values that navigate our choices and actions throughout the course of our own lives. Each of us is unique, and our personal experiences and life lessons are just as unique. We all have our own story, our own personal beliefs, hopes and dreams, struggles and oppositions. And we all have our own unique way of dealing with these things.
As much as I think I may have enjoyed a psychology course or two, I have never actually taken one. However, I still tend to analyze and over-analyze my thoughts and actions and attempt to find reasoning behind my core beliefs and reasons for the way I am today. Soft-hearted and a little stubborn, I will admit that. Which has led me to the fact that I care a little too much, yet when people don't show sincere interest in me, I unapologeticly back away and close myself up. Which in turn, I believe, makes it hard to gain close friends that I can fully trust.
I can surely attest that life is easier when you have less people to please. I have learned that when people expect less of you, you have less to worry about! However, I can also attest that without those expectations placed upon yourself, you definitely accomplish LESS and feel less important and needed. And what is life and it's purpose if you don't feel needed and accomplished? It's depressing!
Having experienced both sides, I can say that having and setting goals and accomplishing more, all while having more people look up to you and expect more from you, definitely FEELS better and results in a more fulfilling life!
So that brings me to my change in direction, in which I need accountability from others that are willing to listen and care and I return the favor as well! I once lost a significant amount of weight, felt amazing, yet bad experiences with people shut me down and somewhat made me rebel against the healthy lifestyle I adapted. I have gained back the weight and feel STUCK! I have felt aimless and felt that I had lost my purpose and reason to get back on track. Mainly because I am back at my old mindset which says, "I don't care what I look like. If people don't like me when I am fat, that is THEIR problem." But the truth is, I don't feel so good. I feel fatigued, unhealthy, lazy, careless, no drive or motivation to even make needed changes. But I know with support and love from others, I can once again relearn to set and reach goals, remember what it feels like to be physically healthy, feel accomplished and driven, and at the end of the day feel SATISFIED and HAPPY with the choices I am making daily.
The thing that drives me is RELATIONSHIPS! People that truly care! Knowing that the choices I am making is not only affecting myself, but also people around me. Having others AND myself set higher expectations of me helps drive me to do better every day, Frankly, when others don't seem to care, I don't care. But I am ready to change that attitude and put more effort into proving not only what I am capable of, but helping others realize their own God-given potential.
WITH GOD, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE! Are you ready to set and reach goals together and prove to yourself that you are capable than more than you ever thought possible?
1 comments:
So sorry you had a bad experience with your team. Seems so aweful to be expected to be successful and if you don't meet expectations you get dropped. Everyone blossoms in their own time. If you ever need support or help please don't hesitate to reach out. If you just want accountability and such I'd be willing to help you. Hope you have a great new year! Gina Scavonne (LivingThisLifeHealthy on IG)
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