Saturday, September 13, 2014

In becoming resilient to shame


Reading in my book about being resilient to shame.....

"SHAME IS THAT WARM FEELING THAT WASHES OVER US, MAKING US FEEL FLAWED, AND NEVER GOOD ENOUGH."

Makes me realize how much shame I have. 

If you think I am on this health journey for vanity reasons, I will straight up say it....
YOU ARE WRONG. Because no matter how much weight I lose or how "toned" I get, I will never have what society thinks is "the perfect body". That's not WHY I workout and eat healthy. I just want to LIVE life and be healthy, and help others do the same!

Sharing this pic is completely out of my comfort zone, and to tell you the truth, I have NEVER EVER shared a forward-facing before and after photo. Heck, I don't even show my scar in person to family, friends, or acquaintances. The stretch marks from having 3 children doesn't make it ANY better either. But I ALWAYS hide it. WHY?

Because of shame.

I have been ashamed of this scar my ENTIRE LIFE. I have let it define, me, embarrass me, make me feel less than human, make me feel not good enough, and so many other destructive emotions that I can't describe.

For as long as I can remember.

But I am done with the shame, because it doesn't have power over me.

In this book I also read, "THE LESS WE TALK ABOUT SHAME, THE MORE CONTROL IT HAS OVER OUR LIVES"

but even more powerful:
"SHAME NEEDS 3 THINGS TO GROW OUT OF CONTROL IN OUR LIVES; SECRECY, SILENCE, AND JUDGEMENT. WHEN SOMETHING SHAMING HAPPENS AND WE KEEP IT LOCKED UP, IT FESTERS AND GROWS. IT CONSUMES US. WE NEED TO SHARE OUR EXPERIENCE.

SHAME HAPPENS BETWEEN PEOPLE, AND IT HEALS BETWEEN PEOPLE. IF WE CAN FIND SOMEONE WHO HAS EARNED THE RIGHT TO HEAR OUR STORY, WE NEED TO TELL IT.

SHAME LOSES POWER WHEN IT IS SPOKEN.

IN THIS WAY, WE NEED TO CULTIVATE OUR STORY TO LET GO OF SHAME, AND WE NEED TO DEVELOP SHAME RESILIENCE IN ORDER TO CULTIVATE OUR STORY."

That, my friends, is WHY I am sharing this. So I can let go of my shame and MOVE the freak ON.  I am not even sure this will impact anyone else other than me. I have so many supportive friends here, so that is why I am taking the initiative to determine that YOU are have earned the right to hear my story, and I only hope I can earn the right to hear yours. 

Oh, and this isn't the end of my story either.

If this impacted you at all, don't hesitate to like, comment or share. I am serious. SHARE away and maybe this will help someone out there that is suffering silently in shame  I understand

#gastroschisis #survivor #noshame #cherishyourself #movementofHOPE



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1 comments:

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing.

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