Saturday, April 12, 2014

My HEART and PASSION belong in serving others


***A lifechanging journey SO FAR***

What is a leader to you?

In 2012 I was a Diamond Coach in Beachbody, and was considered one of the top local leaders in our area. I was matching my husband's full-time income by working PART TIME from home doing something that I was passionate about, which was bulding relationships with people, inspiring them to become better, and improving my own health by losing over 70 pounds through exercise (In all honesty, I never shared my income side of it because I was determined NOT to. I had decided that I wasn't going to be "in it" for the money because the money to me didn't matter---ALTHOUGH it really did motivate me because I wanted to make a difference in my family life, help with the bills, and relieve some of my husband's stress of paying all the bills). The money helped us out A LOT (I mean imagine how your family could benefit from an extra $500, $1,000, or ever $2,000 a month).... PLUS we were able to go on a paid family vacation to Walt Disney World in 2013 AND a paid Carribbean Cruise in 2014! I can share more of the financial benefit later, but for now, the leadership position I was put in was something I was NOT at all used to.

There were many other leaders in Beachbody that I admired greatly (still do) and I watched them on social media and saw them post about their lives and how seemingly perfect it was. Perfect houses, perfect body, perfect marriage, perfect kids, perfect meals.... (maybe you know some?)

I was inspiring people online and try to portray my own life as seemingly perfect. I knew that I was making a difference in the lives of others because I would get personal messages every day thanking me for being so... I was ALWAYS posting workouts and how "AWESOME" they were, posting my weightloss and how "AMAZING" it felt, always so "HAPPY" and positive (I think I may have lost who knows how many facebook friends because it likely got annoying to some). I did this because I believed that as a leader, I was to lead by example. I thought I had to have this picture-perfect life to be a person of influence.

BUT as I was living this seemingly perfect life online, my home was disorganized. I would look around and see my unfinished home that was constantly being remodeled and improvements being made. We had dirty dishes in the sink more often than not. Our siding needs replaced and our stairs and basement don't even have carpet yet since we can't install it until the hall and back room walls are completely finished. Some days I didn't want to cook dinner and we would eat out. Most of the time I wasn't even showered or dressed nicely.

My mind and self-sabbotage got the best of me and I started to doubt wether or not I was "leader" material. I convinced myself that I can NOT be a person of infuence until I get my life and home under control. I can't make a difference in the lives of others until I make a difference in my own life (like losing over 70 pounds and bringing in a significant amount of income for our family wasn't enough). I stopped trying to lead others and I withdrew in shame and embarassment. This happened over a period of several months and was a result of not enough personal development. It is draining to help others without keeping your own lamp lit!

Although I stopped "working" the business, I still continued (and still earn extra money each week)from residual income. This income comes from others in my organization that continued the work of serving others, and it also comes from the hundreds of customer leads that I had gotten (and continue to get) from the company--- YES they freakin' GIVE us customers (how awesome is that?) - MANY of whom I have connected with and we have become good friends!

I went several months without working Beachbody. I quit the vital behaviors, I closed myself off from the world, and guess what? Nothing changed for the better inside of me. I gained weight back. Not a day went by that I didn't think of Beachbody and the purpose and passion I felt when I was living it. The HOPES and DREAMS for a healthier, less-stressful life that had once been brought out of the attic and dusted off, were now being shut back up and I was about to lock them up again because I was losing hope. I went back to the mindset that I was destined to live a life where bills were stressful and that it would be okay if we lived paycheck to paycheck BECAUSE the money didn't really matter anyway. Did it? It helped my family in so many ways, why would I NOT share it?

I am not sure exactly WHAT it was that changed in me so recently. But once I started to let the idea of Beachbody Coaching back into my life, HOPES and DREAMS started coming back. My motivation to become better started to return and that passion and aliveness that I was so desperately longing for for so long was like the warm sun and a breath of fresh air after being locked up in the darkness for months.

I have realized that I don't have to have the perfect life, the perfect body, or the perfect home to be a person of influence. I am just me, just human, NEVER perfect and not striving to be perfect. I am just working to improve a little every day, and I want to share light and hope to anyone who can relate and feels that they have no one who understands their struggles. BELIEVE me, I understand more than you realize, and without judgment, I want to help you believe in yourself! 

Thank you to all those who have done the same for me!!!!

Now thankfully I still have many on my awesome team that believe in me and still see me as a leader that I know I will be. This has become part of me and part of my story and instead of hiding from it, I am learning to embrace it. I am just glad it isn't too late to regain my responsibilities and lead people despite my not-so-perfect life

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